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Calm. Kindness. Kinship. Love.
I’ve given up all chance at inner peace.
I’ve made my mind a sunless space.
I share my dreams with ghosts.
I wake up every day to an equation I wrote 18 years ago from which there’s only one conclusion:
I’m damned for what I do.
My anger, my ego, my unwillingness to yield, my eagerness to fight, they’ve set me on a path from which there is no escape.
I yearned to be a savior against injustice without contemplating the cost and by the time I looked down there was no longer any ground beneath my feet.
What is my sacrifice?
I’m condemned to use the tools of my enemy to defeat them. I burn my decency for someone else’s future. I burn my life to make a sunrise that I know I’ll never see. And the ego that started this fight will never have a mirror or an audience or the light of gratitude.
So what do I sacrifice?
?